If My Life Were A Rom-Com

Disclaimer: To truly enjoy this post, imagine it’s being read by Amy Pohler. I recently listened to her narration of Yes Please, so I hear everything in her voice, and it makes life so much better. 

Today, I got caught in the rain. A lot of rain. Naturally, I did not have an umbrella with me nor proper rain shoes. Halfway through my walk home, my shoes were soaked through, and I had basically become a walking  rain drop. Water streamed from my hair to my eyelids, dripping down even further down my cheek and neck. I distinctly thought, “Jesus-fucking-Christ, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

If my life were a rom-com, that would have been the moment the love of my life pulled up along side of me, rolled down his window, and drawled, “Have you done something with your hair?” I would’ve told him to fuck off, but still would’ve gotten into the car, because did I mention I was drenched?

We would’ve laughed, he would’ve helped me dry my clothes, and perhaps we would’ve watched a movie or something. If you fast forward through the film a little, you’ll notice our little tiff that seems overly dramatized in an attempt to make the climax of the movie something memorable, but once we’ve gotten through that we’ll settle into our every day lives, happy and with a good moral to pass onto our children so they don’t make the same mistakes we did. We’ll say, “Sometimes, you get caught in the rain. But, it’s not about being caught in the rain, it’s about who comes to your side when you look like a drowned rat. Like your father did.” You will note that the love interest in this movie bears an awful resemblance to a Mr. Chris Evans. Not sure if you’ve heard of him. He’s just a little actor who has been in tiny films such as Captain America and Snowpiercer.

Admit it. You’ve seen like at least ten rom-coms that had basically that plot.

Alas, my life is not a rom-com. I had to bear the walk alone, clutching my grocery bag close to me so rain didn’t fall into the bag (which helped nothing, as it was a clothe bag, so it just bled through the fabric) and cling onto my slippery shoes as I finished my walk home.

You’d think I’d be used to this by now. I get caught in the rain quite frequently. It’s as if the universe keeps putting me into these situations in the hopes that one of these days I’ll finally get my rom-com moment. “Well, didn’t happen this time. Let’s try again in six months time.” Or, ya know, it keeps happening because I still haven’t learned to pack a goddamn umbrella in my purse.

I’m inclined to believe the latter. Maybe this time will be the time I pack an umbrella with me. Most likely not. By tomorrow, I’ll have basically forgotten about it; my only reminder will come from my still wet shoes and cardigan. Because, that’s how life goes. We have these ridiculous scenarios that in the fiction we consume become life changing events that we flashback to when things get tough. Our lives are not movies. Unless you happen to be an actor. Then your life is sort of a movie, and I’m extremely jealous.

Shit happens. We get held up in the coffee line, because apparently no one ever knows what they want when they go to Starbucks. We stay up late watching beauty videos on Youtube, which helps us conceal the black circles we’d normally have from lack of sleep to the rest of the world. We ruin our favourite pair of black flats, because we don’t have an umbrella when it rains. None of these things change our lives. None of these events are the turning point to our own ‘movie.’ We, generally, are not glamourous. At least, not the people that I know.

It’s easy, then, to feel insignificant. To wonder what you’re doing with your life, because we can’t guess what’s coming next, but we’re pretty sure it’s more insignificant details that don’t add up to anything.

Sometimes, getting caught in the rain is what it is: an unwelcome, wet journey.

But, that’s okay. While there’s a chance that I’ll forget today, there’s also a chance that I won’t. And, if I don’t, there’s a chance that one day–in the far, far future–I’ll sit down with my grandkids and say, “Let me tell you about a time I went to the grocery store because I wanted ice cream and ended up getting caught in a torrential rainstorm.” (It wasn’t that bad, but I’ll be old by then, so I’ll make it more hyperbolic.) And they’ll laugh and tell me that I’m silly for not having an umbrella, and they’ll promise to always carry one themselves.

That’s life.

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